Is it me or does Valentine’s Day just intrusively slap you in the face this time of year? During one of my routine strolls into Target in all my carefree glory , (although I’ve promised myself for the millionth time I’d strictly abide to the diligently crafted list of my NEEDS drafted in the notes on my phone) I step into my usual place of solace and – BOOM! My eyes are met with every type of Valentine’s Day prop known to man with the likes of sparkly hearts socks, chocolates, and roses. Immediately I think, “That’s what you get for roaming in unforbidden territory in the store, should’ve went straight to the cotton balls”. Immediately after, as a single woman subconsciously my thoughts drift to “what is this going to look like for us this year, and do we really care?” We as in Me, Myself and I – my thorough yet simultaneously moody internalsounding board. Although we claim to not care, do we really?

Transparently speaking, you think about the roster, or the lack there of. 

You know, who does your lists of “Don’t Answers” and “Speed dials after one too many martini’s.” consist of currently?

Now , by no means is this a trope down the rabbit hole of “singledom” and the woe’s associated with it, but more so a virtual place of fortitude for the girls that ping pong between being a hopeless romantic and the overwhelming reality that love and relationships in 2021 is as uncertain and fickle as Dc weather. Is it me, or is dating a seesaw of dating app’s , weeding through your DM’s full of fully subscribed weirdos, using all your phone’s storage to screen shot  hilariously toxic memes and a playlist full of women’s anthems where we are chanting to put the bag first before our feelings. But after the song goes off then what?

This leads a single girl to ask, In a City Girl’s World, What’slove really got to do with anything anymore?

Is it a necessity? What has aided in the cultural shift of women being uncensored and liberated to place their wants, desires andsexual and monetary demands on Front Street with no regards? 

Dating has always been such a nuanced and popular topicdiscussed in prevalent media culture and forever poignant in our music. 

Jasmine Sullivan just dropped her highly anticipated EP “Heauxtales”, where she and women alike document their various experiences and escapades with men. She transparently pens songs that delve into how relationships have become blatantly transactional in today’s dating pool. The EP unapologetically pours on wax the spectrum a woman may journey through from heartbreak to what the adverse effects of that may look like.  #RELATABLE Outside of the EP having no skippables, I can’t help but to notice the cultural shift happening amongst women.There’s a collective movement happening where women just aren’t playing nice anymore. We’re successful, we’re Intunewith our bodies and loving ourselves out loud, while exploring a multitude of options regarding our relationships unapologetically. We are even normalizing sharing these experiences amongst one another out loud.             

Quite frankly, women are FED UP. The trope of “ride or die”, or solemnly resting on a man’s potential seems to have gone out the door. Women want what they want on the front end and it is truly a new day. Many times, I think men only are looking at this “City girl “culture at face value and not it’s rooted under belly. Women are tired of being half loved, another notch in a man’s belt and furthermore have realized we are the prize! For the woman who has conceptualized wanting true love in their personal sphere, but living in a reality where it seems almost unattainable at times, can two ideologies occupy the same space?

Can a woman serial date and still want a Carrie Bradshaw Mr. Big ending (after they recovered from him leaving her at the altar of course. Eek, can you imagine what her hot girl summer would’ve been like if that happened in real time today… Chile)?  

With the influx of Instagram proposals consuming my feed, is a girl wrong for simply just wanting a good time sponsored by someone’s son? Girls just wanna have funds, or whatever Dolly Parton said. Regardless of if you’re still scouting for Ciara’s prayer that aligned her with Russel, or getting your Lori Harvey on and making memories as you go, remember that you’re deserving and worthy of consistent, healthy and fulfilling love. Settling and playing small is over. Life is truly to be lived on your terms sis!